Birthday Wishes

Dear Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jesus and any other mythical creatures who might be reading,

For my birthday (which is coming up soon-ish) I would like the following:

* A cat that is willing to eat the Costco-sized bag of dry cat food currently in my cupboard

* A billion dollars.  Obviously.

* At least one pair of glasses like these:

I hope they come in purple!

* Someone to clean my house once a week for at least a decade.

* Something shiny from Tiffany & Co.

* Socks that are unable to disappear on me almost as fast as I buy them.

* A TV for my bedroom.

* Someone to show me where I packed all my jewellery when we moved because I can't find it and I can't be bothered unpacking a gazillion boxes.

* An in-ground, heated pool.  Hell, even a cold, above-ground one would do!

* John Farnham concert tickets.

* A unicorn!

* A new car.  One for Chyken too.

I feel these are all reasonable requests and I will leave out some beer, coins, carrots, cookies and a crown of thorns for you on Birthday Eve in exchange.

Thanks in advance,

Jo xx