Friday, January 10, 2020

That’s not tears, THIS is tears!

Just when you think you’re doing ok, it turns out you’re absolutely not. I held things together pretty well over the crucial Christmas/ New Year period. (Aside from a horrendous trip to the Sydney Aquarium. Oh my lord what a clusterfuck that was!)

But this week. This week has been... tough. I haven’t been able to go to work, too many tears falling out of my face to be providing any sort of customer service, let alone the standard I normally provide. I thought I was crying a lot in December when I last blogged, that had nothing on this week.

Depression with a side of PTSD can go and get fucked.

I think I’m coming out the other side now, but earlier in the week I was seriously thinking about checking myself into some kind of facility. It was horrendous. (Thanks to my peeps who listened without judgement, you know who you are. Mwah)

I went to the doctor (work requires a piece of paper to say I’m too fucked to be there) she prescribed rest and sleeping tablets and melatonin. The sleeping tablets worked a treat, I took melatonin for the first time tonight and it’s 130am and I’m still awake so I’m reserving judgement on those for the time being. She also made me promise to have a shower and leave the house at least once a day (I am a model patient. I even went swimming. And by swimming I mean ‘I floated around in the pool for an hour’. The good thing about that is that no one could tell if it was pool water or tears. Hint: it was tears.)

Self care? Well, I read an entire book. And I’m hallway through another one. I haven’t read two books in a row in years, so this is a big deal. My iPad tells me I’m a good girl when I reach my daily reading goal. I must have set that up at some point but I have zero recollection of doing so.

So, Thursday is done and I can count on one hand the amount of times I cried today - this is a big deal. Hopefully even less tomorrow. And hopefully some sleep soon.

Thursday, December 19, 2019

All The Tears All The Time

So, long time no blog blah blah blah.

I’m typing this on my phone in the wee hours, so please forgive any typos or formatting issues. I might go back later and fix them. I might not.

2019 has been a clusterfuck. For lots of reasons. I might go into them another time. The end result is that I’m in a fairly deep bout of depression. At any given moment I’m 15 second away from tears. The tiniest thing can set me off.

So I took myself off to see a new psychologist, she seems to think the answer is self care. The problem is I don’t really know what self care looks like for me. It’s definitely not baths. I don’t mind a scented candle, but surely that’ll get boring very quickly? I’m thinking maybe it could be resurrecting this here blog? It helped me through some shit before, maybe it can again?

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Giveaway! The Greatest Magic Show!



The Showmen are back, following their recent sold-out season in Melbourne, the multi award-winning, sell-out sensation, The Greatest Magic Show returns to the Spiegeltent Collingwood from July 2nd to 13th for 10 shows only! 

Read on to find out how you could win a family pass valued at $80!

This time as a part of the biggest magic festival in the Southern Hemisphere, the Melbourne Magic Festival, come see the stars - Sam and Justin - hit the spotlight debuting brand new and hilarious magic and breath-taking circus stunts to thrill the kids… and their parents! PLUS, every child who attends will receive a FREE magic wand on entry and may even be one of the lucky few to come up on stage and become a star of the show!

Incredible illusions and circus artistry, and invisibly shooting a very special guest out of a cannon across the stage are just some of the things that make this family-friendly magic show the greatest, but for the first time, Sam and Justin are joined by Brendon Kerss, the mysterious Ringmaster.

Melbourne-based comic magicians Justin Williams (26) and Sam Hume (20) will be using their combined 15 years in family entertainment to put on this production, which is anything but a typical children’s magic show. The routines are unique and out of this world, not to mention that you will be struggling not to pee yourself from all the comedy coming non-stop from these two charismatic performers!

Tickets are available by clicking here.

We’ve got a family pass valued at $80 to give away to one Chickens and Bees reader. It’s for the 12:30pm performance on Thursday July 4th and cannot be transferred, so please make sure you can attend this show.

To enter, just fill out this form below and tell us what's the thing that would most surprise you if it was pulled out of a hat?

The answer that amuses or confuses our judge the most will win. Entries are open now and close Tuesday 25th June at 6pm Melbourne time. The winner will be contacted by email. 

(If the form won't load, paste this link into your browser )

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Friday, February 8, 2019

Giveaway! Silvers Circus!

Hey you guyssssssssssss! Long time no bloggy bloggy, but whatever, I;m back with the free stuff, so you'll forgive me, right?

One of my favourite circuses (circusi?) have now been running for over forty years and they have a new 90 minute show and it has DINOSAURS in it! (It also has a STACK of fantastic circus acts, including gymnasts, the Wheel of Steel, the Globe of Death, and the Wonder Dogs! 

They’re at Fountain Gate in Narre Warren from now until March 3rd and then they’re going to be over the other side of Melbourne in Altona until the end of March. 


Tickets start at just $25 and now include a FREE Dinosaur Exhibition. The tent has cooling in it, so it’s a perfect place to hide from the weather. 

You can get your tickets from or you can call 0413 880 044 OR  0400 456 157

Here's a video to whet your appetite!

But... We’ve got a family pass to give away for next Friday February 15th at 730 pm in Fountain Gate. A family pass admits 2 adults and 2 kids and is valued at $120!

To win, just fill out the form below and tell us if you’d rather BE a dinosaur or HAVE a dinosaur and why. Entries are open now until Tuesday 12th February at 6pm. The answer that amuses or confuses our judge the most will be the winner.

(If the form won't load, copy this link into your browser: )

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Giveaway! Peter Pan Goes Wrong!

Last year I had the pleasure of seeing The Play That Goes Wrong and what a fun show that turned out to be! 

I've got a double pass to give away to see the show while it's in Melbourne, read on to find out how you could win it!


Following hot on the wobbly heels of TPTGW, Mischief Theatre brings its triumphant disaster Peter Pan Goes Wrong from London’s West End to Australia, stumbling into Melbourne on 19 December, then Brisbane from 30 January, Canberra from 6 February, Sydney from 13 February and Perth from 7 March.

Nominated for an Olivier Award for Best New Comedy, Peter Pan Goes Wrong turns the J.M. Barrie classic, Peter Pan, into ‘a joyous masterclass of physical comedy and general disaster’ (London Evening Standard). Once again, the much-loved members of the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society battle against technical hitches, flying mishaps and cast disputes with hilarious and disastrous results. Will they ever make it to Neverland?

Leading the cast of incredibly talented actors is JAY LAGA’AIA. If you haven’t heard of Jay, do you live under a rock? He’s been in everything from The Lion King to Play School! Seven of the actors who had audiences in stitches in The Play That Goes Wrong – DARCY BROWN, FRANCINE CAIN, ADAM DUNN, LUKE JOSLIN, GEORGE KEMP, JORDAN PROSSER and TAMMY WELLER - have all been silly enough to sign on again with The Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society where they will once more battle against technical hitches, flying mishaps and cast disputes on their way to Neverland with hilarious and disastrous results.

Also experiencing this theatrical mayhem for the first time will be CONNOR CRAWFORD who recently appeared in Assassins at the Hayes Theatre and Sydney Opera House and TEAGAN WOUTERS who starred as Nicola in the national tour of the musical Kinky Boots.

Peter Pan Goes Wrong is co-written by Mischief Theatre company members Henry Lewis, Jonathan Sayer and Henry Shields and includes highly physical comedy packed with finely-tuned farce and Buster Keaton-inspired slapstick, all delivered with split-second timing.

Tickets for all the seasons are available at

But.... Maybe you'd like to have a crack at winning some? I've got a double pass for the performance on Wednesday 19th December at 7pm to give away.

Just fill out this form, tell me what your favourite childrens story is and why and you're in the running. Entries are open now and close at 6pm (Melbourne time) on Wednesday December 5th. The answer that amuses or confuses our judge the most will be declared the winner. I'll email the winner after that and you'll have 24 hours to get back to me.

(If the form won't load, copy this link into your browser )   


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