Sunday, December 4, 2011

All I Want For Christmas Is My Own Two Cents

Note:  If you're new here, you might want to read this earlier post for the background story...

I posted something on Facebook last week about how I wished people would stop writing things on there about Christmas, and more to the point that I wished Facebook wouldn't do the thing it has recently started doing where it tells me just how many people are talking about a particular topic.  I wrote it fairly late at night when I couldn't sleep and a billion thoughts were running through my head.  Although the topic was making me cranky, I tried to tackle it in what I thought was a lighthearted way:

It would appear that some people took it to heart.  I got comments on the post and a couple of people contacted me privately to tell me they weren't happy about it.  Apparently it is OK for other people to tell me to lighten up about it, but not OK for me to hate on Christmas.  I tried to point out the irony of the situation but got nowhere.  In the end, we agreed to disagree.  They went back to loving and I tried not to go back to hating, but it's really hard.  Christmas is bloody everywhere and it seems to have been since Easter finished.  I know this all started by one flippant post on Facebook, I know it shouldn't bother me, but I have been thinking about it a lot since then.  I've tried to work out why (apart from the obvious) very time I logged on to Facebook and saw Christmas mentioned I felt my heart rate rising and tears welling up in my eyes.  Surely I'm allowed to have a bit of a whinge about it on my own Facebook page if I want?

The thing is, I don't want to hate Christmas. I don't want to have this feeling of dread. I want to be excited about it.  In fact, I used to be excited about it.  I could barely wait for the first day of December to put up the tree.  I was the person who searched for the biggest, shiniest Christmas earrings with the most LED lights in them.  I still have them, somewhere, along with several Christmas t-shirts.  I wrapped my presents while watching the Carols by Candlelight on the TV.  I LOVED the lead up to Christmas.  If I'm honest, the actual day was usually a bit of a let down, but the lead up?  The lead up I loved.

But now? Every tree I see and every carol I hear just reminds me of what I don't have any more.


  1. take 2.
    do whatever you need to do to get through this Jo. Don't worry about what others think and say. It's the hardest time of the year to try and celebrate without those that aren't with you. I am taking my mum for a day trip to Queenscliff to escape the bullshit on Xmas day. Will listen to my ipod when i'm in the shops so i don't have to listen to those awful carols and when people wish me a merry xmas i shall tell them i am Jewish! And just for you and i, i shall put an anti xmas avi up on twitter!
    Am here for you my friend.
    Love Eileen (gypsyleenie25) xxx

  2. Hi Jo
    I am not sure how my comments on your status were taken, and I'm not even sure if this post is directed at me, or other individuals, or if we all fall into one 'big scary lump of people who have made you feel you are not able to express your feelings. I thought that our conversation concluded in a fine way, I thought we did agree to disagree, and I certainly haven't held any grudges against you but since I did comment, I will assume that I am being mentioned and explain myself.

    I haven't taken your comments to heart, I am sure that you were posting out of frustration because whereas this has been a happy time for you so many years in the past, now you are struggling to find the joy. I don't doubt that this would be hard and I'm sorry you are going through this.

    If I were to be completely honest, I dislike Christmas-hating statuses in general for my own personal reasons, quite a few of which I have seen lately. You are not the only one who has been posting negative comments about Christmas, so perhaps even though I tried to be constructive, there was some frustration in my response also.

    I haven't commented on the other Christmas-hating statuses I've seen, it's a pointless battle and you are right. Everybody is entitled to post whatever they like on their statuses. I commented on yours not so much because you were posting a negative comment about it, but just the way you worded it: 'it's bad enough that my friends are posting about Christmas...' appeared that you were criticizing your friends for posting their excitement. They are words that are bound to incite a response. I'm happy to accept that this was not the way you intended it to appear. I'm happy to agree to disagree. I hope I haven't made you feel slammed for feeling the way you do, I think it's the role of a good friend to point out how your comments can be perceived from other perspectives (I have a sister who does it for me on occasion where necessary, and I thank my lucky stars for her input daily!!!). My aim was to do this without judgement. Did it come across that way? I don't know. You tell me.

    Again, I am sorry that you are having a tough time finding joy in the celebration of Christmas, I hope that you find a way to gain something from it all...

    ...I still don't understand how having all the statuses in one scary lump doesn't make it easier for you to bypass them all though (ok I'm probably pushing it now ;o))

    Have a lovely Monday, Jo. I will happily and publicly declare that it is my least favourite day of the week. xo

  3. Oh Kate Bushka! I should have explained myself better. This is directed to the people who chose to have a go at me about it 'behind the scenes'. Their criticism was presented in a rather harsh way, and the conversation did not conclude as well as the one you and I had about it. Sorry to confuse you! Go put another carol on and enjoy your gingerbread rounds. :-)

  4. Ah. my bad. Probably I should have clarified that with you before writing a multi-paragraphed response! Haha Carry on :o) sounds like you have a nice little can of worms there ;o)

  5. Kate, it's all good in the 'hood! :-)

  6. Kate Bushka, your facebook comments were well meant and completely reasonable :)

    To my friend Fairy Bee, it is horrible yet awfully comforting to know that there is someone who is feeling the exact same way about the C word as I do.
    I'd like my excitement back please. I'd like to go back to being the festive nazi that would wear tinsel in her hair and make earrings out of ornaments everyday of december until the day. I want to SING. I want to make dodgy decorations and place them proudly around my house while my better half rolls his eyes!
    I think the last time I felt that joy was about 5 odd years back, maybe less, but it feels like forever.


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