Thursday, May 12, 2011

Another Open Letter

Dear Valued Customer,

It is time we addressed a few issues:

a) There is no such thing as a 'standard box' nor a 'standard suitcase'.  Have you been in a suitcase shop recently?

b) The terms 'fairly light' and 'not very heavy' are not appropriate responses to the question 'How much does the item weigh?'

c) If you have the item you are shipping in front of you and you are looking at it and YOU can't tell me the size, how do you expect little old me who is stuck on the other end of the phone to know?

d) If I ask you 'Is it a box or a bag that you are sending?' and you answer 'Neither, it is a carton', you can pretty much guarantee that I think you are a fucktard.

e) If you 'knew you were going to be asked that' then why were you not prepared with the answer?

f) The metric system of measurement was introduced into Australia in the 1970's.  Even if you are the type of person who is resistant to change, after 40 years don't you think it is more than time for you to get on board with it?

Please have a long hard look at yourself before you call me again.



P.S. Is it really too much to ask for you to listen to all the options on the IVR before you choose one?

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