Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My Friend the Chocolate Cake

(Disclaimer: This post is NOT intended to offend anyone, it is simply my point of view, and the people I am bagging are people that you or I have probably never met, nor are likely to meet, so get over it and go back to your cake!)

I've become a fan of the 'next blog' button. See it? It's up the top there... I am powerless to resist! This is both good and bad. I have found some simply wonderful blogs this way, Six In The City, Cake Wrecks and Pioneer Woman to name but a few. I have also stumbled upon a LOT of freaks.

There are two types that really annoy me. One is the 'God-Botherer'. You know them, they're the type that have not only found Jesus, but feel they simply must help YOU find him as well. Bleargh. I have also noticed a huge trend towards dressing the little god-bothering children in horrible diamond patterned knitted vests over polo shirts. Double bleargh!

The other type that seems to be most common is the 'Oh, I'm fat! Help me, why am I so fat?' blogs. Well, I'm here to tell them why they're fat.

I hope they're ready for this???

It's because they eat too much, and don't move enough. Simple. No fad diets here in Chicken and Bee Land!

Now, I've posted the odd photo in my short time blogging, so you more than likely know what I look like, so you're probably thinking 'Why is the fatty boom-bah bagging the other fatty boom-bah's?'. The difference between me and some other fatties (in MY opinion) is all in the attitude. The way I see it, everyone has choices. You CHOOSE if you want to eat the cake, and if you eat the cake, then you must accept that the cake will more than likely change the way you look, and probably not for the better. (Obviously, this does NOT apply to people who are overweight for reasons outside their control, like medical conditions or because they've just had a baby or something)
The people that shit me the most are the people that try and blame other things for their weight:

'Oh, I try, but I just can't lose it!' Bulldust! It is a simple mathematical equation, use more calories than you are putting in!

'I eat because I'm lonely', 'I comfort eat!', 'I had a crappy childhood', 'I've tried EVERYTHING!' Again, bulldust! You eat because you CAN, no one makes you choose the chicken kiev over the leafy green salad at the pub. (Unless you are one of those geese that are only alive to make pate and have their feet nailed to the floor, I bet they get a LOT of kiev!)

My other 'favourite' people are the ones that think they can't possibly have a relationship until they lose weight. That's complete garbage. I am living proof that you can, and aside from me as an example, why on earth would you want to be with someone that only noticed you when you weren't fat anymore?

I've been overweight for years. There is no reason for this other than I LOVE to eat and I HATE to exercise. Simple. I know damn well that I am eating the ENTIRE packet of chips, and I don't care. Well, correction, I DIDN'T care. Some time in the last 4 months (and I couldn't tell you when exactly, even if I wanted to) something inside me decided to care. I tried to fight it for a while, but eventually even I had to admit that I couldn't carry on at the weight I was, and I should do something about it. So, I joined Weight Watchers. And before you tell me off for going on a 'fad diet' when I bagged them a few paragraphs ago, I don't believe WW IS a fad, I'm cooking my own food, and so far I haven't had to buy anything I wouldn't normally buy, I'm just getting educated in preparing it all better and having smaller portions. So far it's been mostly good, although I am missing the cake terribly! I intend on losing this weight, but I refuse to make this whole blog about it, 'cos that would be boring. For me, let alone you.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I think it's fantastic that there are so many people dieting out there in Blog Land, and I find some of the stories about weight loss quite inspirational, so by all means, blog away, document your 'journey'. But please, I BEG of you, stop blaming anyone other than yourself for the size of your arse!

No comments:

Post a Comment

You comment, therefore you are.

Related Posts with Thumbnails