New Direction... Maybe?

I've applied for a new job. In a field I have a lot of passion for, but no formal qualifications, or even work experience in. I'm not going to say too much in case I jinx it, but if you could send some positive vibes my way I would appreciate it!

I like the job I have now, but I don't LOVE it, ya know? I work in a call centre, and out of the fifteen or so call centres I have worked in over the years, this is by far the best one. I get paid well, the work is easy (sometimes a little too easy) I have not even been looking for a new job, but when I heard about this one I felt like I was meant to apply.

Except for a brief stint in the retail world (which I do not want to go back to), call centre/admin work is all I have ever done. I've never really known what I wanted to do with my life. Having a 'career' has never really interested me. Buying a house never did either, and yet I did that, so I guess anything is possible of change, even my mind!  It will mean a commute to the city, something I'm not overly thrilled about, but perhaps it could be nice to sit on a train every morning and day dream instead of doing it in my car and getting speeding tickets?



I've sent the application off. Now we wait.

P.S. I have some great images from We Heart It that I want to add to this post, but Blogger is being a prat. I'll come back and add them in later when it starts working properly again. Also, massive apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes, I'll fix them later too.   It seems to be working now!  Hurrah!

Wordless Wednesday - Progress?

A Few Of My Favourite Things






Here, in no particular order, are some of my current favourite things floating around the interwebs.  I'm not going to explain why I like them, most will be self-explanatory, just trust me and click on the links, you might find yourself a new favourite!

I Want That Flight!


Band Back Together

We Heart It

Failbook

The Twitter (you can follow me!  @chickensbees)

Lake Eildon Discussion Board

Blogopolis!  (My deal is still on offer for this!!)




While I'm here, these are my current favourite things in the wonderful world of all things bloggy... If you're anything like me you read blogs in Google Reader and rarely venture to the actual blog to see their blogroll!

Super Shrink Me!

Waiting For Two

Two Bad Days

Random Ramblings Of A Stay At Home Mum

rainbowtatt

Psiakisterri

Aunt Becky

Madam Bipolar

Salvation Jane

Tim Coulson

The Writing Game

BabyMac

The Pioneer Woman Sux

The Saintly Bitch


What other websites and/or blogs should I know about?  Feel free to leave some links in the comments.





{Driving Me} Crazy For You

I was told over the weekend that I am 'not a very nice person'.  I've spent a considerable amount of time pondering this, and I've come to the conclusion that it is bullshit.  If I was truly not a nice person then why would Chyken live with me?  Why would I have such great friends?  But then a little voice inside my head says 'If someone said it to you, then it must be true, and if it is true, why are you paying a shrink an awful lot of money for him to teach you to how convince yourself that you are indeed a nice person?"

Confused?  Let me set the scene for you:

There is a woman who is also in the cast of the show I am currently in, 'Crazy For You', who has been in several other shows with me.  Neither of us have every had big parts, we both have chorus parts, and are not really crucial to the plot or anything like that, we usually just hover about in the background.  She is an older lady, maybe 60ish (I am really bad at picking people's ages, so she could be anything from 40-80).  She spends the whole time we are on stage over-acting, and the whole time off stage questioning everyone else about what scene we are up to and what song this is and what the dance moves are and is it time to go on yet? 

All.  The.  Freaking.  Time. 

Never mind the fact that she has been to just as many, if not more, rehearsals than I have, she still rarely knows what she is doing.  And I will just state for the record that this has happened in all the shows, not just this year. 

During the performance on Friday night, this lady was late to arrive to the stage for a song.  Instead of just not going on at all (which is what i would have done, and I have seen other cast members do) she went on to the stage, but in the wrong place.  Which meant the other five of us were also in the wrong order.  Needless to say, that song and dance number was a debacle.  She made us all look like idiots who didn't know what we were doing.  When we came off stage she tried to make light of the situation by saying "Did you like the new version of that song?".  I replied, fairly bitchily, but rather quite restrained for how I actually felt 'No, actually I didn't."

The next night we were all waiting in the wings about to go on-stage and she asked me (for the THIRD time that night alone) if she went on first in this scene, or third, or last, or where.  All my restraint went out the window.  I replied with "I don't know.  It's not MY job to know where you come on."  The scene started and she (somehow) found her way on stage and we sang and danced our little hearts out.

In the dressing rooms after the show, while I was taking my make-up off, she came up to me.  The conversation went like this.

Her:  "I need to say something to you."
Me: "Yes?"
Her:  "Well, I was really upset by what you said to me backstage"
{I just looked at her}
Her: "In CASE you didn't know, I JUST lost my mother, so if I have been a bit confused, then that will be why" (She started crying) *
Me: "[her name], everyone has things going on in their lives, we all have problems and issues, but if I have upset you then I am very sorry, that was not my intention." 
{I then walked away from her and started to get changed.  It was a genuine apology, I didn't mean to upset her, I just wanted her to get her shit together.}
Her: (by this stage, almost yelling so the entire cast was now watching what was going on) "Well, I.. I... I don't think you're a very nice person at all"
Me:  "Then it is lucky for me that I really don't care what you think, isn't it?"
{She then started some very over-exaggerated sobbing and left into the other room, with several people going after her to fawn over her and tell her what a horrible person I am.  No one asked me if I was OK, probably because I wasn't crying crocodile tears to gain attention.}

The next day she kept giving me dirty looks, but although I overheard her asking others where she was supposed to be and what scene we were up to, she left me the hell alone.  Thank God!  Perhaps some good did come out of this and she will never ask me again?

Now, before you think I am a complete arsehole, please know that I do realise, with the benefit of hindsight, that I didn't handle the situation very well, but unfortunately, this is a symptom of the bullshit PTSD that I live with every day.  I have a very short temper.  However, I don't think a short temper makes me a horrible person, does it?  The difference with me and some others with a temper is that I don't seem to have to use my fists to get my point across.  That's gotta count for something, yes?

*Just so you know, I already knew this, as she had been at rehearsal the night it happened.  Why she thought it necessary to rehearse that night I'm not entirely sure, because when my Dad died, rehearsals would have been the last place I went, but, each to their own.  If there is ONE thing I have learnt in the last 18 months it is that everyone deals with grief in different ways.

Five Question Friday

Linking up with My Little Life for...






1. What is your current favorite tv show?
Either Offspring or Winners & Losers.  Don't make me choose!!

2. What's the worst haircut you ever got?
It is a tie between the spiked fringe I had and the permed fringe.  I wish I was making those up.

3. What was something that you did as a child that you thought you were so cool for doing?
See the answer to the previous question...

4. Do you have any GREAT frugal family fun tips?
The lamer the attraction, the more fun you can make it.  If you try hard enough!

5. Would you drive across country if you had the money to fly?
This depends more on time than on money, if I had the time I would certainly opt for a road trip!  You see so much more that way.  Chyken and I love getting off the beaten track!

Hope you've had a great week! I've been really busy with performances of the show I am currently in, 'Crazy For You' and we have three shows this weekend so there is no rest in sight. If you are in Melbourne you should totally come and watch me tap dance!

Catch ya on the flipside of it all, my lovelies!

Still Alive

Howdy!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've had a lot going on. I shall write a long post soon when I'm not so exhausted. 

Lately all I've had the energy for is Twitter and Facebook, so hunt me down over there if you like - @chickensbees or www.facebook.com/chickensandbees 

In the meantime, tell me what's going on in your world!


Jo xx

Extra Special Choc, Eh?

Dear Pascall,

Thankyou for being the producer of so many yummy things, I buy them often and usually enjoy them all immensely.  However, There is something we need to talk about.

The Eclair packet I purchased today was emblazened with the words 'New! Extra Special Choc Centre'.

They taste anything BUT extra, let alone special.

Please return to your original recipe as soon as possible or I will have no choice but to stop buying them.

Please do not ignore this reasonable request or I will also cease the purchase of your marshmallows and we all know how much THAT will hurt you.

Love,

Jo.

Five Question Friday

It's that time again....





1. How close to your childhood dreams is your life now?
I never really had childhood dreams, but I guess I always pictured myself married with kids.  I'm halfway there!


2. What is one must have item for the summer?
Sunscreen.  I burn, peel and then get more freckles.  Can I have a pool too?  Good.  Thanks!


3. Do you have your kids stay up on school stuff during summer vacation? (Or, if you don't have kiddos, did your parents make you keep up on school stuff during summer?)
Hell no!  Holidays are for fun!


4. Do you can or freeze fresh produce?
Nope.  I did think about doing something with the abundance of tomatoes that refused to ripen this year, but then I started googling recipes and discovered that I needed jars.  And that I needed to sterilise those jars.  I lost interest in the whole idea at that point.  I freeze leftovers sometimes, does that count?

5. Do you get ready for the day first thing in the morning?
Nope.  I like to do as little as possible in the morning.  Most days I don't wake up until I am halfway to work.

Now, while I'm here, you must watch this:



I strongly suspect this is a hoax, but on the off chance it isn't then someone needs to take this woman to see a shrink because she has serious issues!
Now it's your turn to answer the questions.  Then go and have a good weekend!  I am at the beginning of a wonderful nine day weekend.  Guess where Chyken is taking me tonight?  This photo should give you a clue...

Let's Make A Deal!

I found out today that the Nuffnag Blogopolis is going to be on in Melbourne on July 30th.    Perhaps if I went it might help me make this blog more amazing, perhaps it wouldn't, but either way I think it is going to be a fantastic day and I really, really, really, really want to go.  I want to meet all the people who I read about every day and generally soak up the fantastic-ness that is the Aussie blogging community.

But...

The tickets went on sale today and they are selling like hotcakes.  I am completely broke at the moment thanks to some surprise medical expenses.  See the problem with this scenario?

So...

Are you planning on coming to the conference?  Are you coming from out of town?  Perhaps you don't want the hassle of getting from the airport to your hotel.  Perhaps navigating Melbourne's tram infested streets all by yourself to get to Federation Square scares you half to death...  Perhaps you don't want to stay in a hotel.  Maybe you can't afford a hotel?

I have the answer!

Sponsor me for the cost of the entry ticket and I will very happily pick you up from the airport (and return you there as well) in Sir Lantralot:

You can stay in the Castle, in this very room:

You will be looked after at night by the Guard Cats and I will even leave chocolates on your pillow. 

I will also drive you to and from the Blogopolis and generally show you a good time in Melbournetown.  You might even get to meet Mister Uglyface Wagglytail.

So, who would like to take up my deal?  I can be contacted via the email address on this page, or leave me a comment. 


P.S. If you can't pay for me but you really want to go yourself and the only thing stopping you coming is that you can't afford accommodation, PLEASE get in touch with me and I'll see what I can do, I have two spare rooms and I'd love to see them used for something like this, whether I get to go or not...

Not A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a girl. 

She grew up on a farm in the country.  She was the youngest of four children who were all much older.  She has almost no memory of all six of them living in that white weatherboard house with a blue tin roof.  Perhaps she should, because she remembers other things that occurred in the same time frame, but she does not.  She vividly remembers going to kindergarten.  She remembers her first day at school and yet she cannot remember the simple act of six people sitting around a dinner table eating roast lamb. 

What she does have memory of is fear.  Dark days. Violence.  Being picked up and thrown as Queen's 'Another One Bites The Dust' is hummed.  Watching as a dog mauls a cockatoo to death in her backyard.  There are other events too, but the details are hard to recall.  Perhaps that is a good thing?

She does remember living in a house of three.  Mostly happy days spent playing with her cousins and friends.  Working on the farm with her Dad.  Making cubby houses, riding bikes and wishing for a horse that never arrived.  She cherished weekends with her sister where her hair was braided and she made cupcakes in the kitchen of a ramshackle cottage on a hill. 

As the girl grew into a woman, the dark days returned.  She was alone in the white weatherboard house with a blue tin roof, but he turned up and interrupted her day with shouting and hitting and breaking and threats.  She wishes those days hadn't happened, or at the very least she wishes she could forget them.  But she can't.  They swirl around her, reaching out and piercing her soul.  Made so much worse by the refusal of acknowledgement from those that matter most, the ones who should protect her.

Eventually, the woman is forced to move away from the white weatherboard house with the blue tin roof.  Away from the shouting and hitting and breaking and threats.  She rents a little flat and spends a LOT of time at the pub.  She gets a crappy job and there she meets a man. 

There are happy days at the start, lots of happy days.  But soon the days again turn dark.  It happens rarely at first, the shouting and hitting and breaking and threats, but soon becomes part of her normal day.  She learns to live with it, after all, she has before, hasn't she?  She thinks about running away, but she is stubborn.  So stubborn.  The thought of admitting to everyone that she was wrong, that she IS wrong is more terrifying than the abuse.  What if she is not believed this time?  So she stays.  For almost four years she stays. 

Then comes a birthday.  She does not behave in the manner expected of her and he turns, like he has so many times before.  Lots of shouting.  Lots of threats.  Lots of breaking and even some burning.  To this day the woman is not sure what exactly happened, but something within her changed and she walked out the door.  It was not easy, there were more threats, some empty promises and a lot more shouting.  Eventually there was a court appearance, one of the hardest days of her life.  But now it was over.  Or was it?

The woman moved back into the white weatherboard house with a blue tin roof for a while. Life continued on. There wasn't any shouting or hitting or breaking.  The threats had always remained though, always in the background of any encounter.  She moved out of that house to the city and tried to work out where she fit into the world.

Many years later, she met the most wonderful man and fell in love.  He felt the same way and they started to make plans for a wedding.  She's not sure how it happened, but all the dark days that she had barely even thought about for years suddenly crept up on her.  She had a breakdown.  She started to doubt everything about herself.  She was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Luckily, she sought help and underwent therapy and took medication.  Life went almost back to normal.

The woman became a wife.  She promised to love and be loved, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer.  It was the best day of her life.  She went on amazing honeymoon to Europe.  Her husband bought her a cat.  Life was perfect.

By now, the farm and the white weatherboard house with the blue tin roof was owned by someone else.  No trace of her family remained there.  They all had their own families, in their own houses.  Her parents lived in the town now and it was there that the wife and her husband went to live while they built their own house.  They day after they moved in, the girl's dad was diagnosed with cancer.  Trips to doctors in the city began.  Operations were planned.  The prognosis was good.  The cancer was removed and chemotherapy began.

Her Dad had a reaction to the chemotherapy.  A bad reaction.  Barely any platelets.  Doctors not sure what to do.  Two days after Christmas he was sitting up having some toast one minute and was gone the next.

The girl's world fell apart.

Arrangements had to be made.  Music selected.  Flowers chosen.  So many decisions.  So many different points of view in a family of so many.  Nowhere to run to, she was living in the middle of it all.  Two days before the funeral it all came to a head.  Lots of shouting.  Almost some hitting. 

Even though it was no-one's fault, the girl got the blame.

She went back into therapy, back on the happy pills and is again trying to work out where she fits in the world.  Most days now she can see the sun shining through the dark clouds and life is getting better.

Once upon a time there was a girl. Let's call her Jo.

Five Question Friday

It's Friday again. Already. Thank god! That means this bullshit week is over.

Sorry for the lack of posts this week.  I am working on a pretty important one, but I'm having trouble finding the right words.  When I find them I will post it, and I think it will be a good one. 

Anyhoo, grab yourself a button and play along with FQF!







1. If you had to choose, how would you prefer to choose to spend money...on landscaping or a pool?

This may well be the easiest question in the entire universe.  Pool.  Oh how I would love a pool.  Or even a spa.

2. Death penalty, yay or nay?

Nay.  Although I can see the merit in it in some situations there are aspects of it that always bug me: 

a) I'm not sure we have the right to take away someone else's life, no matter how horrible we think they have behaved;

b) It's so FINAL.  There are lots of cases where someone that was convicted of a crime is later cleared of all charges, what if we killed someone like that?  We can let someone out of jail, but we can't bring back the dead.

3. What's the worst thing your kid has gotten into when you turned your back/blogged/showered/blinked?

I don't have kids, but Sausage the cat is always trying to steal food from somewhere.

4. How often do you REALLY go to the dentist?

Not as often as I should.  When I get a hole in a tooth that hurts.  It's a bit of a shame really, because my parents spent a small fortune on my teeth when I was younger.

5. What is your favorite animal (doesn't have to be a pet-type animal)?
The platypus.  What an amazing creature!  It has webbed feet, and a bill like a duck and it lays eggs but it isn't a bird.  Also, there are spikes on thier feet that can KILL you and the boy ones have two penises.  (Should that be penisi?)  What's not to love?