An Open Letter To Circus Latino

Dear Circus Latino,

I saw your show in Sunbury last night and really loved the Acro-Catz and Matilda the clown. And the fairy floss.

However, I feel I must say something about your mime artist.

The way he treated the woman he picked out of the crowd and got up on the stage was revolting.

She clearly did not want to take her clothes off, and yet he was insisting she did.

He climbed into her lap and then he tricked her into letting him kiss her on the mouth.

This is sexual assault and it is NOT OK to treat women like this.

It is less than OK to do this in front of a crowd of children who may now think this is an acceptable way to treat other people.

I sincerely hope you will re-think this part of your show, sooner rather than later.

Regards,

Jo

P.S. Please include more Acro-Catz, they really were the highlight!

Dear Cadbury...

This is a letter I sent to Cadbury back in 2009, long before I had a blog to vent on.  I've also included their reply.  

 
To whom it may concern,

I wish to make a complaint.

I am a long time lover of Cadbury Snack. Recently you have made the block smaller, so I don't get as much for my money, but that is not my main problem. My problem lies with the new 'shapes' of the pieces. It used to be that the pineapple was shaped like a pineapple, and the strawberry like a strawberry etc, but now it is a square with a picture of the flavour on it. I'm not totally opposed to change, especially if it is for the better, but this is NOT better!

I'm not sure if it is because the chocolate is thinner or what, but it is IMPOSSIBLE to break up the pieces without cracking the shell and ending up with the filling all over my hands. This makes it very difficult to share the snack. The only alternative is to bite off a bit at a time, and then the flavours get all mixed up. I like to eat them separately, saving the Turkish Delight for last. (While I'm here, why is it shaped like a shell and not like a turkey???)

Please can you either go back to the old snack, or adapt this new one so I can break it up and share it with my family.?

Yours Sincerely,


Jo


The next day I got this underwhelming reply...


Mrs Carrick,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding our products.
Cadbury has been making great brands that people love for more than 200
years. We are committed to listening to consumers and providing products
that meet the demands and tastes of each market.

Because our Marketing Department researches products before launching to
ensure consumer acceptance, we were disappointed to receive your comments.
We have however, forwarded your comments onto our Marketing Personnel for
their consideration.

Once again, thank you for your feedback.

Kind regards
CADBURY PTY LTD


Tracey
Consumer Services


What?  No free stuff?  Not even a voucher?  For shame, Cadbury, for shame.

I Understand...

 

Dear Construction Men,

I understand it is your job, I really do, but must you do it when I am home sick?

I understand that there is gravel that must be delivered, at last count six semi-trailer loads.

 

I understand that there are holes that must be dug.

But do you have to be so bloody NOISY about it?

Admittedly, the cats are fascinated.  The most movement they usually see out the kitchen window is the local family of magpies.  But I'm not fascinated and neither is my headache.

I understand that you need to have a port-a-loo, but does it need to be up against my fence?

Yesterday when one of you dropped something I seriously thought the London Riots had come to my sleepy little town.  What WAS that?  It was LOUD!


You are using a very large ORANGE digger contraption.  If you can't keep out of the way of it without All.  The.  Beeping.  Then you have some serious issues with sight and perhaps hole-digging is not for you?

I understand this is just the beginning of the construction of all ten units and that this will be going on for quite a while, but is there any chance we could do a deal if I am ever as sick as I have been this week?  You could take holidays then maybe?  Or go dig holes next to someone else's Castle?

Love,

Jo 

P.S. I'm a bit over the rubbish from your work site ending up in my yard, is there any chance you could use the orange monster to dig yourself a bin?

The End Of The Saga?

To get yourself up to date with this, see A Letter To Reading Cinemas

I left it a few days and then I emailed them again.  Here is part of the letter I received back from Reading Cinemas...


Hi Jo,

Sorry about the delay in getting back to yourself re you last visit to the cinemas here in Sunbury, as mentioned on the phone I sincerely apologise for the fact that your cinema experience fell well short of meeting a satisfactory  standard and would be pleased if you would accept 4 complimentary tickets to attend the cinemas here at your leisure.

On two of the complimentary passes if it is O.K with yourself I would appreciate it if you went to see a 3D movie, as 3D movies are new to Sunbury and the movie you saw was a 3D session of harry Potter I would like further feedback on the glasses I am concerned as they are put through a dishwasher after being used that maybe a film of detergent isn’t being rinsed properly and I would appreciate your honest feedback as the glasses obviously shouldn’t be greasy or scratched.

Once again I apologise for the substandard experience  at the cinemas and appreciate your feedback, Thanks for your support of the cinemas in Sunbury and please feel free to contact me in relation to any concerns or feedback you may have.

Thanks,

Cinema Complex Manager





{www.weheartit.com}


So, I have four tickets to use.  I am very hopeful that my experience next time will be great, but I guess there's only one way to find out.

Before I sent the initial letter I ummmed and ahhhed for a while, wondering if I should bother speaking up.  In the end I decided I had to.  I believe that we should NOT stand for bad customer service.  There is only one way to improve things, and that is to complain about it to the right people.

An Update... Kinda....

So, I promised to let you know what the response was to my letter to Reading Cinemas.  I have had half a response. 

They called me the day I sent the email, and it was the same guy that was so rude initially!  He was eating some serious humble pie though.  He apologised profusely for everything. 

He tried to tell me that they had a very busy day (Hello!  Harry Potter was opening, of COURSE it was going to be busy, did you think to roster extra staff on??) and that normally things weren't like that.  I accepted his apology, because I think he was somewhat sincere.

He also said that he would be in touch with me to organise some free tickets so we could go back and hopefully have a good experience.  So far I am still waiting. 

I'm a pretty impatient person.  How long do you think I should wait?

A Letter To Reading Cinemas

Below is a copy of the letter I sent to Reading Cinemas after going there to see Harry Potter last night.

To whom it may concern,

I attended a movie last night at the Sunbury cinemas.  Before the movie I used the ladies bathroom.  It was in a shocking state.  (No paper in most cubicles and in one there was blood on the walls and floor) I advised the guy who was checking tickets, and he gave me a dirty look and muttered something along the lines of 'Yeah, well what do you want me to do about it?'.

The movie we saw was 3D, and the glasses I was given were in a shocking state, all greasy and smudgy and scratched.  As I handed them back I told the same guy, and he again gave me a filthy look and said 'Well, that's interesting, because they are only a week old'.  They may have been a week old, but they were dirty and not acceptable when I paid $19.50 (Plus booking fee) to see the movie.

Also, I was in your cinema a few weeks ago on a Tuesday evening.  It was grossly understaffed, with one person selling tickets and one person selling food.  We arrived 20 minutes before the advertised start time of our movie, and by the time we got a ticket and popcorn and got into the cinema we had missed the start of the movie.

I am very disappointed, these incidents have put a very dark stain on what should have been two enjoyable nights out in my local area.  Am I expected to go further afield to get basic service?  I want to support local business, but you are making it very difficult for me to do so.

I look forward to your response.

Regards,

Jo

I'll let you know if and when I hear back from them.






****EDIT**** They contacted me this afternoon.  Check back tomorrow to see what they said...

Extra Special Choc, Eh?

Dear Pascall,

Thankyou for being the producer of so many yummy things, I buy them often and usually enjoy them all immensely.  However, There is something we need to talk about.

The Eclair packet I purchased today was emblazened with the words 'New! Extra Special Choc Centre'.

They taste anything BUT extra, let alone special.

Please return to your original recipe as soon as possible or I will have no choice but to stop buying them.

Please do not ignore this reasonable request or I will also cease the purchase of your marshmallows and we all know how much THAT will hurt you.

Love,

Jo.

Birthday Wishes

Dear Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jesus and any other mythical creatures who might be reading,

For my birthday (which is coming up soon-ish) I would like the following:

* A cat that is willing to eat the Costco-sized bag of dry cat food currently in my cupboard

* A billion dollars.  Obviously.

* At least one pair of glasses like these:

I hope they come in purple!

* Someone to clean my house once a week for at least a decade.

* Something shiny from Tiffany & Co.

* Socks that are unable to disappear on me almost as fast as I buy them.

* A TV for my bedroom.

* Someone to show me where I packed all my jewellery when we moved because I can't find it and I can't be bothered unpacking a gazillion boxes.

* An in-ground, heated pool.  Hell, even a cold, above-ground one would do!

* John Farnham concert tickets.

* A unicorn!

* A new car.  One for Chyken too.

I feel these are all reasonable requests and I will leave out some beer, coins, carrots, cookies and a crown of thorns for you on Birthday Eve in exchange.

Thanks in advance,

Jo xx

Another Open Letter

Dear Valued Customer,

It is time we addressed a few issues:

a) There is no such thing as a 'standard box' nor a 'standard suitcase'.  Have you been in a suitcase shop recently?

b) The terms 'fairly light' and 'not very heavy' are not appropriate responses to the question 'How much does the item weigh?'

c) If you have the item you are shipping in front of you and you are looking at it and YOU can't tell me the size, how do you expect little old me who is stuck on the other end of the phone to know?

d) If I ask you 'Is it a box or a bag that you are sending?' and you answer 'Neither, it is a carton', you can pretty much guarantee that I think you are a fucktard.

e) If you 'knew you were going to be asked that' then why were you not prepared with the answer?

f) The metric system of measurement was introduced into Australia in the 1970's.  Even if you are the type of person who is resistant to change, after 40 years don't you think it is more than time for you to get on board with it?

Please have a long hard look at yourself before you call me again.

Love,

Jo

P.S. Is it really too much to ask for you to listen to all the options on the IVR before you choose one?

An Open Letter

*** If you are not a fucktard, you do not need to bore yourself with this post. Go out into the sunshine and do something constructive, like search for a unicorn. This letter is for the fucktards, and they know who they are.

Dear Fucktards,

There are so many of you floating around in my life right now that I hardly know how to begin this letter.

I just don't have the energy to deal with you at the moment. I barely have the energy to do anything. Almost every morning I have to give myself a stern talking-to just so I am able to get out of bed. Some afternoons I need to remind myself that it WILL get better and I will NOT be driving home in tears forever. I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

I'm sick of hearing people whinging about situations that they have put themselves in. Either do something to fix it, or shut the hell up about it, I don't need to hear it. You won't get, nor do you deserve, my sympathy while you carry on like a pork chop about things you have the power to change. If you keep doing the same things, you can expect the same results, good or bad.

I don't want to be accused of doing things to you that you YOURSELF are doing to me. It's not nice and to be honest, it's not bloody fair. Just because there are some people that have been taken in by your crap does not mean I have as well. Just because it may look like you have got what you wanted, it doesn't mean that you have. Not for one fucking second. I am angrier about this than you will ever know. However, I am smarter than you, and I know that I will not achieve anything by telling you what I think right now, so I will keep it to myself. For the time being.


Please take a long hard look at yourself and think about the image you are projecting to the world about yourself, is this the one that you want out there? Are you aware that anything you write on the internet is there FOREVER. It never gets erased completely. Do you want future generations seeing the things you have written?

I have had a crap year. I'm not going to explain why here, as anyone bothering to read this probably knows me in the real world. If you really need me to elaborate, let me know and I will. I'm guilty of whinging about it, sure, but the difference is that most of the things that have made it crap are things that are OUT OF MY CONTROL. This is perhaps why people like you that are spending their time sooking about choices they have made in their life, and in some cases, continue to make, are really starting to get up my goat.

I'm really trying to accept you for the fucktard that you are, but with so much else going on in my world I am really struggling. Is there any chance you could try to meet me halfway?

Love,

Jo.