All The Tears All The Time

So, long time no blog blah blah blah.

I’m typing this on my phone in the wee hours, so please forgive any typos or formatting issues. I might go back later and fix them. I might not.

2019 has been a clusterfuck. For lots of reasons. I might go into them another time. The end result is that I’m in a fairly deep bout of depression. At any given moment I’m 15 second away from tears. The tiniest thing can set me off.

So I took myself off to see a new psychologist, she seems to think the answer is self care. The problem is I don’t really know what self care looks like for me. It’s definitely not baths. I don’t mind a scented candle, but surely that’ll get boring very quickly? I’m thinking maybe it could be resurrecting this here blog? It helped me through some shit before, maybe it can again?

A Better Place? Nope.

 

If you are planning to go to visit a grieving family after the death of a loved one, and the best thing you can think of to say is 'Well, at least they're in a better place now', stay home.

I understand that you THINK you are saying something helpful, but you are not.

Even if that magical 'better place' is something you strongly believe in, I'm here to tell you that unless you are 100% sure the grieving person has the same beliefs as you, it will not help. In fact, it is downright upsetting.

Unless you have actually died and been to this other magical place that is 'better', you don't know, so please don't say you do.

Someone came to visit us after my Dad died and said exactly that. Almost six years later I can't help thinking about it more often than I'd like to, and it still makes me sad when I think about it.  It is in no way helpful when the only thing you want is that person to not be dead.

While I'm here, don't say things like 'at least it was quick' or 'at least you had time to say goodbye'. You probably think that is comforting too, but it is not. It's no consolation that it was quick, it still happened.  Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone knowing it might be the last time you will see them?  What on earth do you say to them? How many false alarm goodbyes do you go through?

It's also a bad idea to ask grieving people if there is anything you can do.  They won't know, or be able to put into words the things they need. Much better to arrive (with food is never a bad idea, there are tonnes of people coming and going and they all need snacks)

All you need to say to a grieving person is simple: 'I'm so sorry this happened. I love you. Would you like a cheezel biscuit?'

An Open Letter To Circus Latino

Dear Circus Latino,

I saw your show in Sunbury last night and really loved the Acro-Catz and Matilda the clown. And the fairy floss.

However, I feel I must say something about your mime artist.

The way he treated the woman he picked out of the crowd and got up on the stage was revolting.

She clearly did not want to take her clothes off, and yet he was insisting she did.

He climbed into her lap and then he tricked her into letting him kiss her on the mouth.

This is sexual assault and it is NOT OK to treat women like this.

It is less than OK to do this in front of a crowd of children who may now think this is an acceptable way to treat other people.

I sincerely hope you will re-think this part of your show, sooner rather than later.

Regards,

Jo

P.S. Please include more Acro-Catz, they really were the highlight!

Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?

I'm going to preface this post by saying that I honestly don't know why we are STILL debating this.  I covered this issue in my blog previously, in this post. 

 

In amongst the daytime TV ads for funeral insurance there are a worrying amount of ads for something called 'Marriage Alliance'. 

 

I checked it out so you don't have to. They don't need more clicks on their website.

Basically, it's where you can go to read propaganda about how marriage equality is going to fuck shit up for straight people. 

Example One: 

Children need a father AND mother.

So I guess if you divorce, or your spouse dies, children of straight couples are automatically ruined too?

Example Two: 

Children will learn about homosexuality in schools

Why is this listed as a negative? Of course they should. Because it's an actual thing that exists. Oh, sorry, you want to just teach them about pretend men in the sky? Carry on then. 

Example Three:

Children of same-sex parents won't know their biological history.

I don't even know where to start with this one. They will probably know more about their biological history than little Neaveh-Caprice Smyth who was conceived out the back of Tunnel nightclub. (Does Tunnel even exist anymore? Whatever, you get my point)

 

Example Four:

GLTB already have the same legal rights as straight couples. Why do they need to be able to actually marry?

Well, why did you, as a straight person, decide to get married? Why aren't you living in a de facto relationship yourself?  There's your answer. 

 

 

 

When I read the press release that said the Gay Lobby was using bullying tactics my head exploded and I was unable to read any further.

The Good Book-Keeper

Imagine this:

You are the boss of a big bank. One of the people who manages one of your branches comes and tells you that one of the people that works in your bank has been stealing money from a customer's account. There is no question this is what has happened, and it isn't even the first time a branch manager has told you about this employee doing this. There have been cases where other employees have SEEN him stealing money from accounts.

Other than these transgressions, this employee is wonderful.  The board of your bank love him, because he has a knack of bringing big accounts your way, with a focus on real estate. 

You don't want the good name of the bank tarnished, so you decide the best thing to do is to transfer this employee to another branch, preferably far away, so no one one will know of his reputation. That way you still keep his clients. The customer who made the complaint is happy, because all they see is that the employee doesn't work in their local branch anymore.

Time and time again, you hear reports of this employee stealing money out of accounts and you move him to different locations. This employee even ends up managing a few branches. They are still bringing in big business to your bank, so you promote them to head of the internal fraud squad.




Oh, shit. Sorry. Got that wrong. Let's start again, shall we?

Imagine this:

You are the head of the Catholic Church in Victoria...

Father Kevin O'Donnell used his position as a Catholic priest to abuse children for approximately 50 years. He served about a year in prison. He died the next year and was buried with full priestly honours in a special crypt in the Melbourne General Cemetery that is owned by the Catholic Church. He was never defrocked by the church.
He was moved from parish to parish by several Archbishops of Melbourne, one of these Archbishops was George Pell.



More of his story is told in the book, Hell on the Way to Heaven, which is available here. (Be warned, it is NOT an easy book to read.


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